Friday, January 1, 2010

. It was close to 430am when we arrived home last night or should I say this morning. Rob and the band had to play at an overcroweded, well known, popular bar out of town in Athens Ga. last night. No amount of pouting I did could change the fact and the obligation he had made. Totally dedicated to the band, he wouldnt never let them down..a fact I already knew. As much as I had wished we could spend the New Years laying on the couch watching the ball drop on Times Square, I knew I would be spending New Years Eve alone with the girls spending the night at friends. Lonnie was subbing for the lead guitarist of Robs band who had come down with the ever so dreadful Swine Flu 3 days prior to their big gig. Just before Rob and Lonnie were ready to leave, he asked "sure you dont wanna go?" At that instant I changed my mind. I grabbed my purse and climbed in the truck with them....what the hell I wasnt spending New Years eve alone!

I sat at a table close to the stage in the smoke filled bar. I knew I would have to put up with the drunks, but with Rob close by on the stage, I felt ok. During their break or intermission, whatever its called...Rob and Lonnie came and sat down with me, a few minutes later the countdown began. The over crowded bar began to hoot and holler, and Happy New Year
was said through out the whole bar. I felt Robs hand in my hair as he pulled me closer to him,
and kissed me so softly, so gentle. He whispered against my lips "Happy New Year baby".

Later when they were back on stage jamming to some good ole hard rock, I watched Rob as he sang out the lyrics, as he fingers shredded on the guitar, as he moved about the stage from time to time. Thinking about him telling me he loved me, yet he hadnt told me again since then. But as I watched him, I knew without question, I was in love with him. Not sure how it snuck up on me, but it did.

It was close to 330 am when we made the hour long drive back home. I could hardly hold my eyes open. I laid my head against Rob's shoulder. I felt his hand squeeze my thigh. I liked his hand resting there. Rob, Lonnie, and I both had fallen silent in the truck. With my head resting on Robs shoulder, my eyes half closed, I felt happy, safe, content..I felt complete. I must have chuckled a little bit, because Rob asked me what I was laughing at. Quoting a line from the Jerry McQuire movie I said "you complete me". He squeezed my thigh again and i felt his lips on the top of my head. "Im glad you went tonight, I know you dont like bars, but it meant alot you going. I didnt want you spending New Years eve alone" he said softly. Kinda funny, his voice is so soft, even when hes mad his voice is so soft, but when hes on stage singing, and sometimes screaming, its a whole new different voice.
"yea well, I still wished I could have seen some kind of fireworks, whether on tv or out by the lake. I really wanted to go see the fireworks show at the lake" I moaned.
"I know baby, and Im sorry" he said
I let the subject drop. As we sat in silence once again, no radio, only the hum of the trucks motor, i wondered why I had broken up with him a couple of months ago. Rob knew of my accident, although he and I didnt know eachother then. He had read the newspapers, he knew people that knew me, and hes heard lonnie and my brothers and I talk about it. He was perfectly aware of the whole thing. He never once shyed away from me. He accepted everything about me, and even knowing the way my mind goes haywire sometimes, he never once gave up. He accepted the fact when my mind would spend out of control, he always just takes me by the chin, and forces me to look in his eyes, and softly tells me to slow down. Hes handled my emotions, my anger, and never once judged me. So why did I break up with him a couple of months ago?
Because I was scared of falling inlove again, and him leaving. I didnt want to lose him, I didnt want to love and lose. I was selfish, not thinking of how he felt. I lost Doc that way, and I just didnt want to lose Rob, I didnt want that feeling of lonlieness again, instead, I told him I didnt want to see him anymore. A month later, I went to his music store. when I walked through the doors he just stood there looking at me. There was one customer in the store but Rob was only
looking at me. "I made a mistake" I said tears filling my eyes. He walked over to me and took my hands in his. "No Haley, you didnt make a mistake, you were scared, you ran, I waited, and Im still here just like I said" I fell against him feeling his arms around me.

Just before turning on the lonely road that leads to my house I said "I dont want to lose you"
"what brought that on?" he asked
I shrugged my shoulders "just thinking"
"you think too much haley" he said.
"I know, cant help it" i moaned
"well stop thinking, last time you did that, you broke up with me" he said
"im not this time though" i whispered.
"thats good to know" he laughed.

We pulled up in the long drive way to my house. I woke Lonnie up. "im awake" he moaned.
And when truck rolled to a stop, Lonnie jumped out and ran toward one of the barns.
"where the hell is he going?" I asked Rob
He shrugged his shoulders "when you going to learn not to question his intentions and his whereabouts?"
"as long as hes living under my roof, i have that right, are you spending the night, or should i say morning?"
I felt relieved.

Once inside the house, I went straight to the bedroom and starting putting on my pjs. Rob was texting somebody, but I figured it was just a band member letting them know we were home.
Rob walked to my closet and pulled the doors, and pulled out two blankets and my robe. he handed me my rob "put this on" he said.
"why" i asked
"we going outside and lay out under the stars"
"Its 4:35 in the fucking morning Rob, I just want to sleep, plus theres fog, there is no stars"
"I want to make love to you in the field Haley" he said smiling.
"umm I like that idea but its like 30 degrees, foggy, wet, and my bed is so much warmer"
He walked up to me, and started kissing my neck so gently, cold chills ran up and down
my spine "please" he whispered. I pushed him away. "no youve lost your mind" I got in the
bed, and pulled up my nightgown teasing him a tad.
"Nope" he said "im going outside, its a blue moon too, I want to see the blue moon" and he walked out of the bedroom.
I ran down the stairs just as he was walking out the back door and caught up with him.
He stopped in the back yard and laid a blanket on the ground, then he laid down on the blanket.
He patted the empty spot beside him. I laid down beside him shivering. he put his arms around me, then pulled his phone out and texted. "who the hell you keep texting?"
"your brother" he said sarcastically
"whys he at the barn?"
There was a loud boom, and suddenly in the open foggy skies, a multitude of colored sparks appeared in the sky, followed by more, and more. Fireworks, like a grand finale at a firework show.
"Happy New Year Baby" Rob said with his arms hugging me.
Tears filled my eyes "whose shooting them?"
"All 3 of your brothers, i paid them to go pick out the best fireworks just for you, for me to surprise you when we got home. Heres your fireworks baby. I love you Haley"

Today I confess: Im inlove.


justsomethoughts... said...

and what beautiful story this is

Haley said...

Thanks, I thought so too, I thought it was blog worthy. A few mistakes on my part, typos, but i was tired when i typed it.

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